Putin to Russia’s enemies: Incoming!

A good way to determine whether you are still alive is by asking whether you can still feel wonder and amazement at watching the changes sweeping the world. Most such changes are gradual and hard to detect as part of your day-to-day experience, and so it is useful when someone important stands in front of you for an hour, as Putin did today before Russia’s Federal Assembly, and explains exactly what has happened and exactly what is gong to happen. It is also quite entertaining: Putin is someone who is naturally irrepressible and refuses to hold back. His Russian also has a tremendous dynamic range: one moment he sounds like a streetwise kid from the tough streets of Leningrad, and another moment he sounds like a lawyer and a consummate technocrat, literary scholar or even a theology student. Well, he is all of these things. Like him or hate him (few people manage to feel neutral about him) but he is difficult to ignore. Especially since, as is usual, his annual address to the Federal Assembly was not lacking in linguists call performantives — statements that do not express opinion or impart information but actually transform reality in specific ways. And these it is important to know about, especially if you reside in one of the countries whose leaders have (very stupidly) decided to be Russia’s enemies, since, ultimately, it is your ass that’s on the line. You may stand in awe of the awesome leader whose name is Vladimir Putin (there is nothing to stop you) but, more to the point, I feel it is my humanitarian duty to warn you what’s likely to happen before someone shouts “Incoming!” That way, you might formulate a better plan than just covering yourself with a white sheet and slowly crawling toward the cemetery (so as to not cause a stampede in which someone might get trampled). And so…